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So, I don’t have kids – why does that bother you?

March 23, 2013

no_children_roundI watched the movie, “This is 40” , yesterday and it got me thinking about children.

A lot of people have them, and obviously, there would be nobody to read this post if some people didn’t, but I find it super curious that when a woman chooses to not have children, some people take issue with it.

I guess that’s nothing new in this world – look at anti-abortion laws and pro-life activists (not to the mention the media in general) – they all revolve around the idea that women aren’t people. Aren’t capable of making a decision because obviously – if you have a uterus, you are simply an object – you are at the mercy of your biology, and you have no mind, no thoughts – no life of your own.

Don’t get me wrong – I like kids, and if people want to have kids I think it’s great that they do so, but for me personally – not my thing. For the last two decades I’ve had to put up with people assuming that I’ll have kids, or asking why I don’t, or looking at me like I’m crazy because I don’t want any, and then very patronizingly saying, “oh, you’ll change your mind”. Guess what? I didn’t. And now I’m almost 40, so soon, the option to do so won’t even be there if I wanted it. Maybe then people will stop asking.

I’ve never identified myself by gender first. I’ve always been “Kim” – a person. Not “Kim”, an empty uterus and mind to fill with the status quo. I suppose some people would say this is a feminist rant, and maybe it is. You can call it whatever you want, but I know that if I was a man called, “Kim”, nobody would even ask if I had children, let alone care if I said I didn’t have any, or want any.

I know I’m not alone here – I have plenty of female (& male) friends who are also happy to be childless by choice, and others who are equally happy to be mothers and parents. To each her own.

gigs – cds – mp3s – news – blog

ps choosing the tags for this post confused me (must be those pesky female hormones) so please feel free to suggest more

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. March 23, 2013 9:34 pm

    No Kim, you are not alone.

    • March 23, 2013 9:37 pm

      I’ve been learning today there’s a lot more people like us out there than I realized!

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